"HABLA GRINGA..."

OMG, what a FANTASTIC voicemail I got today!!!!!! Returning home from dinner and a movie (king kong, very good.) I had six missed calls. Wading through the usual voicemails, the very last one!!!, I heard it....a familiar voice...and 4,000 miles of ocean and rocky countryside couldn't hold back the memories....

"Habla Gringa"

PERU. The most amazing, frightening, pissin-me-off-but-oh-I'm-lovin'-it journey of my young life. Three months in a foreign country. Three months of exploring new sights, sounds, ways of life. Damn. The best three months I've ever had, and admittedly, the worst as well. = D El Peru.

Spastically dialing the number I'm so excited, I get connected with a HOTEL IN ORLANDO!!! My boys,los arequipenos, los peruanos, Josesito and Lucho, are working as fucking laundry boys in FLORIDA!!!! lol lol = D They're living in the hotel for the next three months, drinking beers as we speak, blissfully and defiantly saying, "Los estados unidos de mierda" when I remind them that in my country, you have to be 21 to drink...

I can't believe it. Cannot freaking believe it. The best Christmas present EVER, to suddenly remember it all. I think a lot of the time I try to forget, sadly enough. Because if you remember it (I know you feel this with me, shisha-lovers and others), if you really wallow in the greatness of it, you want to be back SO DAMN BAD it just hurts like hell. Sometimes I can't stand how much I want to go back, how much I'd give for just some of those awesome times to play over again. But man, it is good to hear those voices from time to time. Spring break anyone? Yeah that's right. I'll be in Orlando.

Cuidate.

Due North toward The Future, and no major in sight...

Ships ahoy, maties, and welcome to this Gulliver's Travels-esque jaunt. Much like our famous unfortunate of literary fiction, I have no idea what lies in store for me at the island of 'The Future', and at the rate I'm going, I'm lucky if my only worry is little people with bondage issues. Two majors down , and zero to go. I'm wondering if 'international researcher' can be a job. You know, I'll just be a consultant for anyone that wants to know anything about anywhere, and I'll happily spend my days reading those dusty books from your local bookstore's 'World History' section and listening to Putumayo music. You know, like Mycroft Holmes, Sherlock's brother. He creates himself a position in the English government, along with a notable payroll, by offering others his opinion so much they soon can't function without it. Well, anyway. Reference The Adventure of the Bruce-Partington Plans for a more complete window into my analogy. *sigh* Whatever.
No puedo pedir a los olmos que entreguen peras

Taking a cue from Burbs (Happy Birthday Buddy!) I began reflecting on my own (albeit limited) travels. I was telling some friends the other night about some of the best nights of my life, and ironically enough, they all happened outside of the fifty nifty. Most times they were dangerous situations, not your typical tourist experience. Maybe there's something in fear that makes a memory shine brighter. Here's one of the nights...stranded on Isla Tequile in the middle of Lake Titicaca. A six-hour boat ride from any civilization, caught in a windstorm that forced us to find cover on a depleted island with no doctors or money system to speak of, thrown together with a gaggle of outraged Europeans, on the highest navigable lake in the world. It got to be -15 F that night, thanks to the altitude and the fact it was late June, the coldest part of winter. I had shorts and a t-shirt, a water bottle and a disposable camera. I cried because I thought I might die, but the tears froze to my face and I had to seek some inspiration. Look to the heavens, 'o those of faith. It was the most beautiful night sky I'd ever seen--blanketed in millions upon millions of stars, all visible and bright thanks to the thin atmosphere at that altitude. I was alone outside while everyone else huddled inside a church for warmth. From the plateau of the island, nearly 2 miles tall, I saw the edge of the world. The black waters of Titcaca stretched outward with no break in sight, lapping onto the far shores of Peru and Bolivia. Somewhere in the night the island people of Islas Flotantes, the floating islands, sailed by as they made their beds, 20 people to an island and reeds as the only building supply. Somewhere in the world my parents were sleeping, my friends were having fun, and countless dignitaries were making decisions about our countries. I? I had a night I'd never forget. Cold, alone, afraid of death but wildly in awe of this amazing...opportunity. A chance to see the world and myself. Where not even the threat of normalcy, routine and warmth could spoil the gift of the fear, beauty, and never-forgotten memory of that moment. That's what I remember when Burbs talks about his nights on the dunes. Those amazing defining moments, that I think are only found in the unknown, the fearful, and the journey.

If I love you, what business is it of yours? -Goethe

So, I convinced myself I was having a panic attack today. Who believes in the power of suggestion, raise a hand? Yeah, I do. Apparently. So, my exam's at 10, and it's 7 this morning, and I was studying. Anything to freak out about? Not really. I had studied alot, and just gotten up to review, but all the sudden (while reading about anxiety disorders and panic attacks, since it was a psych. exam), I start to focus on all the horrible things. Like the effect this exam has on my grade, and how I don't really have a major, and how I'll never be able to get a job and I'll have to live off of handouts from kind AIESECers, etc, and it happens. Seriously. I somehow force myself into some random panic attack. Couldn't breathe, heart racing, I ran into the bathroom and threw up. Three times.

Wow, psycho. Get some real problems. There's a bajillion million things worth worrying about and you get all worked up about the future. That's just stupid. At least pick something controlable (like the fact that Matt Damon got married in a random courthouse because he's girlfriend's pregnant....whatever, Matt. We're no longer on speaking terms. I was behind you way back in 'Rainmaker', and not many others were, but fine. Turn your back on a fan...)

Anyway. In all honesty, though, the general freak-out factor of the world has been up as of late. Lots of stressful stuff happening. Everything always gets worse around the holidays...families come over....money is hard to find....nothing but reruns on TV....sigh.

Demanding...."yesterday"

So....if I had any clue how to upload pictures, I would upload some from my party a few weeks ago. David sent out some pretty sweet ones as a "Christmas gifts" to the MI link. If you're a MI @er, check it out...

Crazy drama going on in the last 72 hours. If you're in the "circle of trust", you know what I'm talking about. But, sometimes things get hard, and people need other people. What's that Barbara Streisand song, that people who need people are the luckiest people in the world? Then I guess we're all pretty lucky.

You can't make decisions for people, but it always seems so easy when you're watching a situation. Ever notice that in the worst situations is when you change your mind the most (April, that's a pretty obvious statement--thanks for making a transparent blog...) but, it's true. Devil's advocate can always see both sides.

Sick with worry.

oww....

I've been up for so long my eyes hurt. But. That's fine. I have nothing really to say tonight, except I was thinking today that defining moments are never obvious to the people that make them. i/e someone may see another do something extremely simple, like open a door or read a book, and within that moment, for a brief second everything about that person is epitomized in that action. Attention to detail, awareness of others, etc. Sometimes little things like that are the real examples you think of when trying to define or remember someone. And in those little moments, we never realize that everything we tried to control is useless: that impressions are made fleetingly, that it's useless to try to contrive a representative 'me', b/c our real identities come out in the little things. We work so hard to have the right image at the right time, and for the most part, lasting impressions are always the unintended ones.

That's my deep analysis for the moment (morning).

Where the Streets have no name...

AHHH AIESEC!!! Annual Dinner for @ MI was absolutely FABULOUS last night, very sweet! Good times, good times. Can't wait to see even more dressed-up AIESECers when we get to WSC!!!!!!!!! AHH! Another point of excitement! AIESEC is rocking my calendar's socks off right now, and I love it. Can't wait to get things started. Already thinking about the coming semester and new strategies we can implement...ahh! hott. Totally jazzed from that WSC ppt, too. You know you love the U2 goodness. Nothing much else to report. g2g and meet with some random person seeking my inspiration for the Asian Business Conference. Long story. After that it is HAPPY HOUR and Bubble Island (so ASIAN! = D ) and PAR-TEY, as they say on the slides...